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Been away a long time and came back for an emotional boost.

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  • Been away a long time and came back for an emotional boost.

    My last post here was on July 27, 2011. It's hard to believe that I've been away for over two years. It feels good to be back, but I'm struggling and in need of support, and I know that this is the only place that can provide it.

    I've struggled with anxiety for the last 10 years of my life. After a lot of reflection, I can see now that I've actually struggled with it my whole life. In the last year, however, it worsened into a severely life-changing illness. I am healthy and I am happy, but I've lost my ability to do the things that I once did. A few short months ago, I was confined to my living room chair. I couldn't get up to walk to the bathroom without experience severe chest pain and completely losing my breath. I had to leave my clinicals because I wasn't able to perform the work. Convinced that I was suffering from a heart ailment, I continually made trips to the hospital. I was so lost in my state of anxiety and worry over my physical symptoms that I ignored the doctors who told me it was just anxiety. I refused to believe it. I just knew there was something wrong. My last trip the hospital, I lost feeling in my chest, both arms, my neck and my jaw. I felt as if I were going to throw up and pass out. My heart was racing. I didn't think that I would make it inside the hospital before I died. But like all of the other trips, my heart checked out fine. It was just anxiety.

    I became very depressed over what was happening in my life. I had completely lost control over my body and my mind. Several thousands of dollars in hospital bills, all of which I had great difficulty in paying being a college student, and a clean bill of health with the exception of a severe anxiety disorder that I had lost control of left my sad and lost. I persevered, got through my clinical semester, and my summer class and half of my current clinical semester that I'm currently in to get to where I'm at now. I've gone from not being able to walk to the bathroom to being able to put in 8 miles a night walking at the track. I still can't run, or play hockey, or do a lo to the things I used to because my body is still stuck in a state of anxiety and won't respond well to physical exertion. But I'm making progress with the help of an anxiety therapist and the will to defeat this and get my life back.

    Now I'm here. I haven't participated in PE in two years. I need the support from the other gym members here. I need some friends who can help me get through this. This community is so different from any other forum that I've been a part of. The people here really do genuinely care about each other. I need that right now.

    I'm going to start PE'ing soon. I can't help but regret time lost. Where I could be after two years if I hadn't let my personal life come off the rails. I'm in a relationship now for the first time in several years as well. Because of anxiety, I've been having some problems maintaining interest and performance in bed, although it's something that I want to do. I believe it's become mental. I think about my performance too much, and because of that, I'm losing my ability to perform well. My erections aren't firm and don't last. It's becoming harder for me to reach orgasm. I'm afraid of coming up lame in bed one of these nights and suffering from an embarrassing moment with my new girl. We've only engaged in oral sex. She's waiting until my birthday in a few weeks before we actually have sex, and the thought of not performing scares me. I need to relax, but I don't feel like I have full control of my thoughts. I have no confidence anymore. If you think you'll fail, you probably will. And I'm trying so hard to not think thoughts of failure.

    More than anything, I need an emotional boost and some support. My life has changed a lot in the last few years and I have lost a lot of my support group. I knew I could come back here, share my story, and get some help. I've lost 20 lbs. since the start of the semester back in August. I weight 175 lbs. for the first time in probably five years. I feel like I'm about to turn the corner in my health and get over this, and I want to start PE'ing again to help build my confidence and performance back. That's my story. It's good to be back.

  • #2
    You know you are always welcome here and there are many good people here to help you or just pal around with. Weird to say but for many this penis website is like home! Welcome home!
    The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

    Comment


    • #3
      Hey Jack we are here for you! Maybe check out the Favorite Quotes or All About Vagina's to help kick start your self confidence and help you smile.
      By the time your done here we will have you strutting around like a proud rooster!

      Hugs, Frog
      Last edited by Frog; 10-19-2013, 02:25 PM.
      "A negative mind will never get you a positive life.

      Comment


      • #4
        You Can Do It - YouTube

        You can do it! More of a motivational boost than emotional but that always puts me in a good mood. Enjoy yourself, your girlfriend sounds nice.

        Whatever you have to say, you can say it here but you will get better advice in the relationship sub-forum.
        BPEL: 6.7-8.57" NBPEL: 6.3-8.25"
        MEG: 5.9-6.5" HeadEG: 5.4-6.25" BEG: 6.25-7"
        CI:1.5 -2.5
        Flaccid: 5"x4.75" -> 6.25"x5.375" for +63% volume
        275ml-435ml in 3 years, 6 months(active 2 years) for +58% volume
        6.7x5.9 - 8.57x6.5 or bigger than 9/10x49/50 - 2999/3000x1666/1667

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by CUSP82 View Post
          You know you are always welcome here and there are many good people here to help you or just pal around with. Weird to say but for many this penis website is like home! Welcome home!
          So true. Thank you, man.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Frog View Post
            Hey Jack we are here for you! Maybe check out the Favorite Quotes or All About Vagina's to help kick start your self confidence and help you smile.
            By the time your done here we will have you strutting around like a proud rooster!

            Hugs, Frog
            Ok, from the first picture on the All About Vaginas thread I was laughing out loud. You guys are great. This is why I wanted to come back here.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by GoingForGold View Post
              You Can Do It - YouTube

              You can do it! More of a motivational boost than emotional but that always puts me in a good mood. Enjoy yourself, your girlfriend sounds nice.

              Whatever you have to say, you can say it here but you will get better advice in the relationship sub-forum.
              I appreciate it, man. I'm happy right now. Just knew it was time to come back here and take another step toward a more satisfying, healthier life.

              Comment


              • #8
                Maybe you should see a psychiatrist, meds can change your life.
                "I will lick my dick"

                Comment


                • #9
                  He don't need no shrink; he needs us!
                  The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by watersnake View Post
                    Maybe you should see a psychiatrist, meds can change your life.
                    So can surrounding yourself with good people and friends.
                    "A negative mind will never get you a positive life.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Oh shrinks are fine but easy to rush to medication. Very often being able to talk out your issues with people who care and do not judge can help greatly. The greatest psychiatrist in the world is a good trusted friend. That was told to me by a psychiatrist!
                      The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi Jack,
                        Anxiety can definately run and ruin your life. Being here on the gym can give you some thought to the matter and some really good advice. Laughing-which you will find here can help too. Anyway, welcome!!!!!!!!
                        Consciousness and intention matter here.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Okay now let's talk about PE bro. What's your starting measurements, what was your routine before you stopped 2 years ago, how much have you gained, what's your current measurement and what is your final goal? Also, what is your routine like?
                          I hope you get past all these issues and live life good.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thank you all for the kind messages. They're a big help. It's really awesome of you guys to give me such a warm welcome back.

                            Vulture, measurements coming up soon.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Jack - welcome back.
                              Congratulations on your journey on taking back your life. You have turned a corner and already see your life improving and getting where you want to be - that is great progress. Knowing that you are able to make these changes yourself and with the support of friends here and other places I'm sure provides great confidence.
                              We are here for you sir!
                              T

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